META’S SEX ISSUE: EDITOR’S LETTER.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.
Woody Allen

Sex. Are you getting enough of it? Perhaps you don’t want it? Perhaps you’ve had too much? Sex is all around us; we are constantly bombarded with images of heteronormative sex, straight, cisgender men and women and, increasingly, lesbian and gay imagery. But, aside from the “ladyboy” porn shelves, where are the trans people? Sadly, though trans people are often seen as fetishists or perverts, we are in fact more likely to fall victim to sexual harassment.

COVER STAR: Isis King, shot by Cory Malcolm exclusively for META

Our virgin sex issue is all about owning our sexualities – we’re celebrating all things erotic and we got more than we bargained for when we spoke to our sizzling cover star Isis King. She’s come a long way since America’s Next Top Model and we’re thrilled she chose META to reveal her confident, sexy new look. Find out what she finds sexy in a man, her embarrassing sexual episodes and why she texted her mother following her first post-surgery orgasm on pages 20-25.

We debate the pros and cons of the porn industry and if traditional “tranny” porn has helped the community (pages 6-7) and I jump into bed with Big Brother winner Luke Anderson for a Paula- Yates-style catch up. And we were having so much fun that the show’s runner up, Adam Kelly, decided to join us for a threesome. Check out our exclusive original film content on Page 13.

There’s a serious side to sex too, particularly for those of us with cross-gender identities. Take Gemma Barker, a young woman who was sent to prison earlier this year after she adopted a male identity and deceived several female friends into having sex with her. Could you too go to prison for failing to tell a lover about your birth gender and/or genital status? Find out in Jane Fae’s investigation on pages 32-33.

We’re also very proud that Roz Kaveney has chosen now, and META, to bravely and frankly discuss her years as a sex worker (pages 34-36), and Terrence Higgins Trust tells us what it’s been doing to help trans people enjoy sex safely and access sexual health services (Pages 30-31). Finally, we look at masturbation – and why it’s just too good to leave to cisgender men. Let us know what you think on our Facebook page, by tweeting @META_mag or by emailing meta@millivres.co.uk

Now, lay back and think of META…

Paris Lees

★

 

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YOU GOT LEMONS SO MAKE LEMONADE

I’m told I can be aggressive. Intimidating. A bitch. Of course, as I frequently point out, there’s plenty to be angry about. Does that get you anywhere though?

Round my hometown… looking cool with my cousin

I was pretty pissed off when my local newspaper ran a story on my victory at at the National Diversity Awards. I was described on the front cover yesterday as: “Hucknall’s Paris Lees, who was born a man but who now lives as a woman, has won a top diversity award”. Yes, picture my frown.

I wrote an angry and deliciously belittling email to the editor. It made me feel better. Rather than sending it, though, I went back and removed any unnecessary sections and needlessly aggressive language. After all, what was I trying to achieve – open a dialogue with him or simply make him mad too? I wanted dialogue. I added cooperative language. I offered him a solution.

I won’t say my email was completely passive. I still expressed my complaints firmly (and perhaps I could have been even more tactful) but, overall, it was considerably more calm than the original. I didn’t attack or accuse… I simply expressed my family’s anger and my disappointment.

The result? I am now going to be writing a regular column for the newspaper, which is widely read in my hometown and provides a real opportunity to educate the local community. The paper will also print an apology in the next issue.

The email is below…

Dear Martin and Jackie

I hope you are well.

It was really nice of you to do a story on me this week but, though it’s positive overall, there were some bits my family and I found upsetting. My mum is unhappy with your use of “born a man” on the cover because, as she says, she gave birth to a baby! She would also like a correction printed please as she would never use transgender as a noun, as she was quoted. In addition, I do not “live as a woman” – I am a woman, as my passport confirms.

Also, in kind spirit, could I also ask you to imagine a headline that read: “Black Paris lands award as positive role model”. Transgender (like disabled and gay) is an adjective. I’m not “transgender Paris” in the same way that my mixed race sister is not “Black Natalie”. My entire family is very angry that I have been described this way not only in the headline, but on posters in shop windows.

I appreciate you have to make sure news is locally relevant but we are disappointed that the article focuses heavily on me being trans. My win was (rather ironically) for my work to improve representation of trans people in the media. Campaigning to avoid coverage like this is precisely why I won the award. For contrast, I believe this Nottingham Post article, which describes me as: “A woman from Hucknall who won a national award”, strikes the right balance.

I prefer to resolve things positively and constructively. If you would like me to write something in more detail about the work I do and my life growing up in Hucknall, I would be happy to do so. I’m also very happy to help if you cover trans stories in future. You can find a relevant style guide here, which I helped draft for Trans Media Watch. It is backed by the PCC.

Best wishes,

Paris

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DOCUMENTARY: Indonesia’s Transsexual Muslims

Love this. Impressive documentary from VICE, about Indonesian trans people, or Warias, as they are known. The narrator uses “transvestite” and “transsexual” interchangeably and I’d be interested to know if this is down to culturally-specific notions of gender identity or just shit translation. That aside, it’s a sympathetic piece and there’s a real sense of wanting to learn about the women’s lives. Keep an eye out, though, for the presenter’s well-meaning but cringe-inducingly patronising comment, to a trans woman: “You do your eye makeup better than I do!”

Honey, a lot of people do.

 

★

 

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My Transsexual Summer's Lewis speaks out

Reblogged from metamagonline:

Lewis Hancox won over the nation's hearts following his appearance on Channel 4's My Transsexual Summer, with stars such as Stephen Fry contributing to his fund for chest surgery. But he also faced severe criticism from sections of the trans community, who accused him of setting a bad example by raising the money himself. Lewis tells us why he made his decision - and the pressures of representing a whole community on national television...

Read more… 15 more words

I don't usually do reblogs, but I have fond memories of making this short film for issue 1 of META and there are two important messages that Lewis makes. Firstly, one person can't represent everyone. Secondly, one person may not even be able to represent themselves as well as they'd like, as documentary makers have their own stories to tell. Bear it in mind, trans people.

META 03 – EDITOR’S LETTER

Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change – this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.
Bruce Barton

Things are changing. Of course, change is constant, but we’ve noticed a strong feeling of progress recently and it’s moving across the globe. Trans people are taking on the world and winning – and META wants to celebrate this.

Of course, it’s important to remember that, worldwide, trans people are still subject to the most horrendous injustice, violence and, sometimes, death. A young trans woman of colour in the United States, CeCe McDonald, is currently facing a 41 month sentence in a men’s prison – for surviving a violent hate crime.

A year ago, CeCe was verbally and physically attacked by a group of white men; her abusers shouted transphobic, homophobic and racist insults while slicing into her cheek. CeCe tried to defend herself, and the man who attacked her died in the struggle. She was the victim, but she fought back. See how you can help her continue the fight by visiting SupportCeCe.wordpress.com, where you can write to her and donate towards her support fund, and follow the #FreeCeCe hashtag on Twitter. As META goes to press, none of her attackers have been charged.

Janet Mock (who we’re pleased to welcome on board this issue) pointed out in the Huffington Post that: “transgender women make up 44 per cent of all LGBT murder victims, most of them trans women of color, despite the fact that trans people as a whole only account for about 8 per cent of the LGBT population.” This must change.

We may lose friends and we may lose battles, but we must never lose hope. Through sheer persistence and the courage of our convictions, trans people are increasingly making our voices heard and challenging anti-trans sentiment. We’re fighting back. This issue, we speak to two very different public figures in Britain – feminist writer Julie Bindel and talk-show host Jonathan Ross – both of whom have come under fire for making jokes about trans people. Both of whom chose META to explain why. Let us know what you think about these full and frank interviews by tweeting @META_mag.

We also continue our series on the My Transsexual Summer boys – so you can catch up with everybody’s favourite Jewish trans man, Max Zachs, (and find out why his nan likes to hug people in the supermarket) on Page 28. Not only that, New York counter-culture legend Joey Arias drops by for a chat ahead of his appearance at this year’s Meltdown festival (Page 8), and our fantastic cover star Kate Bornstein tells us how things have changed for trans people since she last felt so “naked”. Read her boisterously fun (and blisteringly funny) exchange with Roz Kaveney on Page 22.

Like what we do? Then show your friends how with it you are and introduce them to the only magazine that’s aimed at trans people of every gender expression. And congratulate yourself for finding us first.

Things are changing. Be part of the movement.

Paris Lees

★

 

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WE WILL NEVER LOOK BACK

There is only one cure for the Post Ibiza Blues (PIB) and that, of course, is to return to Ibiza.

 If this is not immediately possible, withdrawal symptoms may be treated with music therapy. PIB sufferers may find comfort through songs that remind them of their Iberian adventure, though it should be noted that, in some cases, this can actually increase PIB.

I’ve been back in Britain for less than 24 hours and I’m experiencing extreme PIB. Ibiza is a raver’s pilgrimage but my trip, booked at extremely short notice, also symbolises my new-found freedom. Thank you to my fabulous new friends for inviting me. Thank you, Boy George, for giving me dance floor fever following a hot, sweaty night at Amnesia. And thank God for electronic dance music.

I tried Googling “Never look back” to find one of the songs stuck in my head. This led me to Avicii’s new single, Silhouettes. I was surprised to see the promo clip features a trans person, but I was even more surprised at how this is handled. Rather than mocking the trans character, the film affirms her experience and shows her as fulfilled (and loved) following surgery. When did you last see that in a music video?

Avicii is a mainstream, Grammy-nominated star, who counts Madonna and David Guetta among his friends. Last year he ranked No. 6 on the Top 100 DJs list by DJ Magazine. He plays to thousands, but he wants his fans to do more than just throw shapes. Change, he says. Be yourself. Be happy. Clubbers, like the rest of the population, come in every variety. Messages like this are what made me fall in love with dance music in the first place. It’s a top tune and a top, PIB-relieving video. Top man, Avicii.

★

 

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GOOD LIFE

I’ve never been happier. I think I know why.

Feeling happy and free with my lovely cousin.

Sitting on the train to Nottingham last Saturday, barefaced and relaxed, I couldn’t help remembering how stressful I once found that same journey. I’d never done it without makeup before. If you are visibly transgender, being in public is a constant source of danger, paranoia and conflict. Humiliation, verbal and sexual abuse are common and physical violence is a real threat. Trans people are also more likely to be murdered. “Passing” in one’s preferred gender is about more than respect: it’s a safety concern. You can see why so many of us are obsessed with it.

My cisgender (i.e. non-trans) friends sometimes act surprised when I tell them this. If I’m trying to explain the situation to a man, I’ll ask him if he fancies walking down the road with my handbag on his arm. Wearing lipstick. Most realise that this will probably illicit sniggering, staring and, of course, increased threat of violence. Trust me. Other people really seem to care what colours we put on our faces, and the bits of cloth we cover our bodies with. If your choices don’t meet other people’s expectations, they soon let you know.

Over the years I have spent thousands of pounds, hours and tears in the quest to look female. Hair and nail appointments. Fake tan and makeup. Cosmetics. Epilation. Clothing. Everyone likes to look good though – right? True, but I spent that money – and continue to spend it – mainly to rid myself of the constant, nagging feeling of unease in public. To stop people staring. To stop them grinning. To stop them abusing me on buses, in shops… on the streets. I spent all that money, in fact, to feel how cisgender people feel.

Last Friday I popped to my doctors for a routine health check. I didn’t bother wearing makeup. After I’d seen the nurse, I decided to visit my nearest high street to check out the new hair salon. I couldn’t get a same-day appointment, so I popped to my usual salon in Stratford instead. Stratford is incredibly busy at the moment due to the Olympics. I went anyway, got my hair done, and stopped off to buy groceries on the way home. There was a time when I wouldn’t take the bin bags out without makeup on, but I felt completely comfortable all day. The sun has chased the clouds away, in the good life.

Happy… through pain ripens joy

This is what £8,000, and pain, and slicing, can buy you. A feeling of invincibility. It’s given me a confidence boost, yes, but it has also, without doubt, made me look better – “better” meaning “more feminine” in this instance. Peace. I can get on the train and smile at the woman opposite me when her child starts singing. It’s a wonderful feeling, but I’m disappointed that I had to work so hard to experience it. It’s called passing privilege – or cisgender privilege, for those who take it for granted. The thing about passing privilege though, the thing that separates it from cisgender privilege, is that it is conditional. If for whatever reason I stop conforming to a particular look, my harmony would disappear. Perhaps I’d care less, a second time round. Who knows? Still, it’s a scary thought.

I’m also subject to the male gaze more often, these days, which makes me paranoid. Unless of course it’s someone hot – then it just makes me blush.

We can’t change society overnight. Nor can we change ourselves so soon and, frankly, why the fuck should we? If we are clever, we do both. We must remove the stigma of being trans. We must end the pressure to conform to other people’s ideas about how we should look. It’s hard to do this while also trying to fit in and live peacefully. But, so long as people still make life miserable for those who are visibly trans, pressure to conform poisons our capacity for creativity, expression and love. It is all-consuming. There are things we could, and should, be thinking about other than the way we look. I am able to think this, now.

I’ve never been happier. I’m sad to think why.

★

 

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