Like A Virgin (Blogged for the very first time)

Seeing as ya’ll like my blogs for the Gender Trust so much – and what with me leading such an exciting life working in The Media – I’ve decided to do me own blog! Crikey! Better than a kick in the teeth eh?

You see, it turns out I’m probably going to become famous at some point. Or, as Lady Gaga may say, (in fact, did say): “I’ve always been famous, you just didn’t know it”. Well now you know.

And where begins this quest for world domination? Well today I went for a screen test with the people who make 4Thought TV (you know, those short films with people blabbering on about themselves after Channel 4 News?) Sounds alright, but how the hell I’m ever going to blether on about myself for 5 mins, I just don’t know.

I didn’t really want to go on telly at this precise moment of my life, as I had to come off the magic pills (I’m talking oestrogen here; I’m still taking the anti-psychotics) just before Christmas and, since then, I’ve lost a whole lot of weight. Including lots from my dear, sweet, fat, and chubby girly-face-chops. For those of you who aren’t transsexual (seriously, some people aren’t?) this kind of feels like when you put a shitload of weight on, and moan on and on about what a fat lump of lard you are, when to everyone else you probably look pretty much the same. Nevertheless, I’m not looking my best, and the timing’s bad.

But you know what? I am much more – as my dear friend Michelle Bridgman tells me – than my looks. So I’m going to take this opportunity and appreciate it for the special platform it is. The slot gets an audience of around a million, apparently, so I’d like to think that at least a few people sat at home will rethink their position on transgender issues after hearing my amazing rap. Just kidding. I couldn’t give a shit who likes my rap!

Well, there we go folks, be sure to subscribe and leave comments and all that stuff unemployed people (who nevertheless manage to afford broadband) seem to do all day. Go on, validate my narcissism. I might even upload some erotic black and white pictures of myself in an intimate embrace with Naomi Campbell and Vanilla Ice shot by Stephen Meisel as a thank you.

Ooh, and one last thing – as I’m not representing the Gender Trust in this blog – I’d just like to say: fuck, piss, shit, wank, bogger and cunt. And fanny-apple juice.

Fabby-doza bye-bye!

Paris x


10 thoughts on “Like A Virgin (Blogged for the very first time)

  1. Alice says:

    And I get to be your virgin commentor! I feel special! Congrats on starting the blog, I’ll be following.

    So when do you find out when you’ll be on Channel 4?

    • Not usre when hun, though I am also in the early stages of devloping a new TV show with them, so it looks like my relationship with Channel 4 has only just begun! Will blog about it when plans are a bit more solid.

  2. misswonderly says:

    And I got to be your virgin liker and I’m glad about this because as I said a girl like you ought to do more with her brains besides think.

  3. look below says:

    Can I ask how you deal with being unable to take the girl-pills?

    • With great difficulty, but in the knowledge that I have to, and that it is temporary.

      I also keep reminding myself that I’m actually quite a good person and to be kind to myself. As such I have been baking lots of nice, unhealthy things, having warm baths, and looking after me. I’m spending more time in the house while I lay low, so it makes sense to make home a comfrotable place to be.

      I’m also surrounded by some very decent people whom I trust very much, and I’m great at sniffing out imposters and those who might mean me harm. I always find that’s quite useful.

  4. theocarranza says:

    Welcome to the Blogging Universe! Have fun!

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