Especially: my beautiful, crazy mum, my loving (and much-loved) open-minded aunties, my caring grandmas, sweet sisters, bright brother and my amazing Uncle John. I’ve learned something from all of them and – though they all drive me to distraction sometimes – they’re good, decent people who accept me for who I am, and I’m eternally grateful for that. I will make you proud(er). Also, big up my main sista-gal Natti* who is one of a kind and has brought much happiness to my life!
*Natti comes with a Matti!
Trans legend, she’s devoted her life to helping the community and has been instrumental in making real changes to trans people’s lives. The amount of vitriol that gets directed at her doesn’t bear thinking about it, but she has an MBE and the respect of many under her belt. I hope that keeps her cheerful. Very supportive of me, and always incredibly helpful. Encyclopaedic knowledge.
My Mate Stephen
Thanks Stephen – I wasn’t expecting you to call and when you did, you really lifted my spirits. One of the few people I’m still in contact with from school, you’re also one of my oldest friends, and I’m looking forward to visiting you in Scotland soon. I wish you every success with your upcoming project!
Lovely young woman at Channel 4 who truly cares about trans people and who displayed a genuine, emotional response when we showed her some examples of transphobia on television. She bent over backwards to make the MoU launch night a success and she also happens to be as cute as a button. Always makes me smile.
*Her assistant, Stuart Cosgrove, is pretty good too. Don’t tell him though.
One of my top ‘fans’, she can always be relied upon to perk me up if I’m feeling like throwing in the towel. She does tell me when I’ve done something stupid, and for that I am grateful. Also looking forward to visiting her soon. She is very, very sensible – and as old as the hills.
Another old fart, our Shelley is an absolute scream. All I have to do is look at her and I crack up. Seriously though, she’s alright our Shelley. Definitely a good person to have lunch with – just not in the canteen at Goldsmiths. Always learning, always inspiring.
The first person to ever pay me for my writing. For this alone, she must be congratulated. She’s a fierce advocate of equality and works hard to ensure that DIVA includes women of colour and in fact promotes every type of woman. In terms of trans awareness you couldn’t ask for a better ally. She’s also hot, and who I want to be in a few years time. Divalicious.
Rikki Beadle Blair
Took a lot of stick our Rikki for producing FIT, with that infamous scene which I won’t go into here. But, to give the boy his dues, he apologised the moment he realised his offence. He also made a point of coming to out MOU Launch last month, despite feeling understandably worried about the reception he might face. For that, I respect him, and I also hope he might – as hinted – make a film about trans people on a par with FIT. He’s also constantly upbeat.
My best friend. Mythical creature in my life. Period.
Her diplomacy is unmatched. Kind-hearted and caring, Ms Kermode has skills which we could all do with honing, tact being the most precious. She’s also smart, relaxed and committed to making the world a better place. She’s perked me up on more than once…
My boyfriend. Arguably the most miserable, depressing, mean-spirited person on this list, Mark’s biggest secret is that he’s actually quite nice. He puts up with me, and I’m a fucking horrible bitch to live with. I salute him. His yupppie career also happens to fund quite a bit of trans activism and charity work. Thanks dear.
*comes with a lovely mum attached
Nathalie McDermott and Federico Podeshi
Lady Nat, you’re a very precious and rare human being – a true ally to not only the trans community but to a range of marginalised social groups. What a woman. I could say the same thing about Fed, but he’s too manly. He gets things done and has his head screwed on and I personally find him rather inspiring. They both have some great friends too.
The DIVA girls
Eden and Louise, you’re both hilarious – though in quite different ways. One of you is an absolute joker and would have made a great court jester had they allowed women to perform the role. The other has a twisted, bitter sense of humour which leads her to write nasty things about Madge and then credit them to me. You know who you are.
Madonna, Queen of Paris
You don’t care what anyone thinks about you and I love that. You’ve been slagged off for nearly every single thing you’ve ever done and yet you remain one the most influential and successful women the world. Criticised for acting like a man, laughed at for getting old and picked on for your ageing hands, you’re exactly what want to be when I am 52. Hot. Powerful. Unapologetic.
Mother Hen. You know who you are. Thank you. What would I do without you and my other trans-Aunties? We all have different skills, but we share a keen sense of injustice. And we’re doing something about it. Respect!
If I was going to bake a cake for anyone, it would probably be you. You like cake, I like cake. I like you, you like me. And one day, when we’re as old as certain feminist ideologies, we will live in a better world. Just thinking of you calms me.
This girl has seen me though thick and thin – she’d pop to the shop for me when I couldn’t face leaving the house back in Brighton and she’d probably come to London and do it if I were desperate. She’s a great friend and I love spending time with her. She fucking wrecked my favourite jacket though!
Sar, Car, and Ear – I’m gonna keep this short, because you only need one word to describe you: girlicious. Juliet – inspiring. Elizabeth – a higher being. Chloe – missed. Stacey – lost. Nikki, Vicky – envied. Emma – thanks, you’ll never know. K, C and N – no one can take it away. Chelsea, you’re the favourite room in the house of my life. I may not visit often but I’m always happy to be there. You’re a best friend and a grade A minx. Aunty Jane and bolshie Natacha – you get good things done. Steffi*, I’ve never laughed harder with anyone. Funnest person in the world. Fact.
*Steffi always comes with amazing accessories, including a to-die-for Chennour!
My honorary mum, her secret location home is my bolthole of choice. She’s a pragmatist: hopes for the best, but puts provisions in place for when the shit hits the fan. She’s also one of the most intelligent women I’ve ever met, cooks a treat and has some bitchin heels. The perfect woman.*
*She also has a lovely son, who is perhaps one of the best guys in the world.
I’ve met some fantastic, intelligent, charismatic, driven, kind, funny and sexy people in my life and I cannot possibly name them all. From the heart-stealing GT boys to my tea-party gal pals, from my LOVELY, gorgeous, kind buddy Yiota (a college friend who graduated) to rising star of the legal world David Allen Green – you’re all fabulous and I’m pleased to know you. Luke – where did you go? Martin – ditto. Guy, David, S… I’ll never forget. Matt, Luke, Rikki… unrequited – or was it? Gabriel – hmm. P – gone.
Anyone I’ve left out may not have been in my head, but you’re certainly somewhere in my heart.
Feeling sick? Did I not big up my cat yet? Big up my main gel Tyra.